Conviction, Guilt, Condemnation

The good the bad and the ugly are fighting to have control today. I am so upset because something I gave into is like a pebble being tossed into a pond. Ripples are visible and I cannot take back what I started. I am repentant, but I have already affected other lives. I am paying a price for not being obedient. There is no condemnation for those who are redeemed, but, man, it feels real bad. The conviction took a while, but the guilt took seconds.

I needed a biblical word and this is where I was led. Thank you Holy Spirit.

Psalm 51:1-17
1HAVE MERCY upon me, O God, according to Your steadfast love; according to the multitude of Your tender mercy and loving-kindness blot out my transgressions.

2Wash me thoroughly [and repeatedly] from my iniquity and guilt and cleanse me and make me wholly pure from my sin!

3For I am conscious of my transgressions and I acknowledge them; my sin is ever before me.

4Against You, You only, have I sinned and done that which is evil in Your sight, so that You are justified in Your sentence and faultless in Your judgment.(A)

5Behold, I was brought forth in [a state of] iniquity; my mother was sinful who conceived me [and I too am sinful].(B)

6Behold, You desire truth in the inner being; make me therefore to know wisdom in my inmost heart.

7Purify me with hyssop, and I shall be clean [ceremonially]; wash me, and I shall [in reality] be whiter than snow.

8Make me to hear joy and gladness and be satisfied; let the bones which You have broken rejoice.

9Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt and iniquities.

10Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right, persevering, and steadfast spirit within me.

11Cast me not away from Your presence and take not Your Holy Spirit from me.

12Restore to me the joy of Your salvation and uphold me with a willing spirit.

13Then will I teach transgressors Your ways, and sinners shall be converted and return to You.

14Deliver me from bloodguiltiness and death, O God, the God of my salvation, and my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness (Your rightness and Your justice).

15O Lord, open my lips, and my mouth shall show forth Your praise.

16For You delight not in sacrifice, or else would I give it; You find no pleasure in burnt offering.(C)

17My sacrifice [the sacrifice acceptable] to God is a broken spirit; a broken and a contrite heart [broken down with sorrow for sin and humbly and thoroughly penitent], such, O God, You will not despise.

His love is so great, He is so good, He is so constant and faithful that in the times of David and in this millennium, all we need to do is confess, repent, and praise Him to obtain forgiveness.

Off to be obedient. Again it is all about love. Thank you Father.

How big is my God?

I was sitting on the edge of the bed and just thinking random thoughts. It turned to God, as it often does. Lately, I have been thinking a lot about how we measure all things by what we know. On a certain level, I understand the universe is bigger than our galaxy. I understand that the earth is not the largest planet in our galaxy. The continent that I live on is not the largest. The island in the Caribbean I was born on is a mere 100 by 45 aeronautical miles. Miniscule in the scheme of things. If the island is that tiny, I by comparison am barely existent. A mere 5 foot 2 inches tall by 23 inches wide (46 inches in circumference). I already used the word miniscule... so I must need another word to describe my tininess in the scheme of things. Infinitesimal?

My wandering mind remembered that it is said that the waters of the earth fit in the palm of His hand. That would make the Caribbean a microscopic dot. He is so big, bigger than my mind can perceive... what is the opposite of infinitesimal? According to Google, I probably know or am familiar with about a 100,000 words and their different meanings by being fluent in the English and in the Spanish languages. Let's say for argument's sake I can use 10,000 words. Honestly, the closest I can come to describing God's bigness is - omnipresent. I humbly admit, that I'm not even sure what that means, so basically, I remain wordless.

I said all that because, as I contemplated His bigness and my insignificant, invisible size, I realized... He listens to me. I am not worthy.

Now I have to try to get a grasp on how big is His love.