Forgiveness... so elusive

My husband and I had a history from when we were younger. Almost 20 years later, when we were contemplating getting married, I worried that the past would be an obstacle when we got into disagreements. Could we could be happy enough to overcome the past? He told me that if we wanted to make it work we would have to forget the past and never bring it up. Well, in all fairness, 25 years later I have to say it worked. I guess that is kind of the same thing as forgiveness.

We are taught that when we confess our sins and are repentant, we are forgiven, and those sins are cast into the sea of forgetfulness. Thank you, Jesus. We are to forgive those who trespass against us. That means throwing those trespasses into the Sea of Forgetfulness. That's the hard part. I don't forget offense very easily.

I've gotten better at the "saying" I forgive. Yes, yes, yes. I can say it, but I just don't feel it sometimes. That person who hurt my chances at getting a better increase in salary... mmmm, OK, I forgive you, but I'm not forgetting what you did, five years later. That person who told my director that I was annoyed with him... no such thing, a total misunderstanding. OK, I forgive you. But I have arguments in my head with them. Guess I haven't forgotten it. Where did they say the Sea of Forgetfulness is located?

What I have discerned is that to forgive someone has nothing to do with them. It is an act of obedience. It has to do with being Christ-like. It is about a commitment we make to look at things differently. Saying I forgive is the beginning of that commitment. It does not mean that the person is released of their responsibility or the resulting consequences that befall them. It means that you are on the road to spiritual healing.

So, I will continue to speak "I forgive" and stop myself when thinking about the person and their offense, and give it to God, who is faithful in His healing. Full circle, He forgives me for being weak in the forgiveness of others. I learn to forgive others, so I may be forgiven.

Its all about the love.